The Featureless American Comedy Pageant Starring Ben Affleck as Peter Folds.

Dylan woke up. "What was on my mind? What am I?" Maddi had a clothing company. He walked upwards and got nowhere. He was still in bed. Above him was a blank wall. "It mocks me. I want to mock it back." Dylan mocked the wall back then rolled off of his bed on to a dirty floor. He got up for five seconds then lied back down. He though 'What am I? What do I have to do? I'm fucked today. Dammit.' This was all that was on his mind. It was all that was on his mind for a week. "Am I depressed? Am I seeing things? Am I really in a cereal box?" Dylan wasn't in a cereal box. It took six minutes for that realization to occur. Six minutes too long. "Why am I sarcastic?" Dylan was sarcastic in his head. He thanked it for being empty today and for a week. "Where is my mom? What am I? What am I saying this all out loud for? I wish for a reward." Dylan held his hands out but received no reward for doing so. This all went on for an hour. Then came breakfast and the internet. Myspace and Tumblr. Then going back to sleep.
Maddi was still awake. "I am still awake," she said to her cat. "Why am I still awake?" 27 hours. Maddi designed a shirt. "This is fucked." She scrapped it and got up from her chair. Three bagels, each without butter. "I need butter," she said to her bed (although the cat thought it was directed towards him but felt immediately stupid afterward). "I am bored." Maddi was bored.